I must be having a pretty sappy day! Lately I have been reminiscing over the last year of my life and how wonderful it has been. Akilah and I are both in good jobs, we had a wonderful wedding, we are having a baby girl, are lucky enough to have awesome families and friends, etc. I just re-read this letter Akilah wrote for us when we were trying to win a free wedding photography package (we did win!) and of course burst into tears.. He is such a great writer and I love the letter he wrote.
I'm not one to write about my personal life, but my fiancé brought this contest to my attention. I guess you can say I am already learning to say yes to things my future wife wants. I played football at ISU on scholarship and Holly attended ISU on academic scholarship. I was fortunate to get to know my fiancé in a statistics class my junior year of college. I remember seeing her and also couldn’t help to hear her, because she would always ask questions in class. There are two places in which I have the confidence to talk to a girl that I am attracted to. Those places are in math class and on the dance floor. My dad was big on math and coming from California males had to dance well to grab a girl’s attention. Unfortunately, my initial attempt to hang out with her was out done by a game of basketball. I offered to help her study for our big test and she said she had to work. That evening I ran into her playing basketball in Reed Gym. I just played it off like no big deal, but I was a little sad that she really didn’t have to work. Like any other male, the thrill of the chase made it more worthwhile. I continued to text her and we ended up going on our first date in the summer of 2006.
Long story short, we hit it off immediately and learned we tied our shoes the same way, listen to the same music, share a love for children and Michael Jordan, will have always have to have a large closet to hold our piles of shoes. She is just as stubborn as I am and had very similar up bringing. We dated for about 4 years before I was lucky enough for her to say yes to becoming my wife.
Well, the last four years were not the easiest. We had a few break ups, epic battles, and disagreements. (I told you we were stubborn) But, that adversity is in all relationships. So what makes our relationship special? I mean I received a free college education and she graduated in 6 years with her Masters, so what’s our adversity… right? Well I had a dream to continue my football career on the professional level. I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to do just that. I was worked out by NFL teams and received phone calls before and after the draft. The only problem is I didn’t get the phone call to actually be part of a team. I was fortunate enough to get signed to a developmental league a few months later, but that league folded a week before I was supposed to report to the team in Texas. A year later I got signed to the Arena Football League and that league folded right before I was supposed to report to camp.
Now help me out and think of a child hood dream you have had growing up, it being placed in your hands, and then being ripped out of your grip not once… but twice. Mentally it was very tough to deal with because although I got my college degree, I always saw myself as a professional athlete. I felt like I let so many people down, including my fiancé. When I didn’t get signed, it took a toll on me mentally and in turn took a toll on our relationship. There were days I didn’t want to talk to anyone, days I would just want to be around the guys, and days I just wanted to stay in bed a sulk. Throughout it all, she stayed by my side and encouraged me to continue to chase my dream and to chase all life had to offer. She never once made me feel like I was a failure. She was able to turn every situation into a positive light and help me realize how blessed and lucky I was to have a successful life aside from sports. For that I am ever so grateful, without her I don’t think I would have won my internal battle. She was my rock during those months of hardship, and I know it took a toll on her as well as it did on me. But… we won that internal battle.
The social adversity that we have faced together is a battle that I hope is slowly dissolving in the world. I am black and my fiancé is white. In the small town of Pocatello there are times when you can tell it makes some people uncomfortable that we were dating and are now engaged, because of our races. I need to write a quick disclaimer: I firmly believe that most people do not care one bit and I love this city and that’s one of the reasons I have stayed and work in the field that I do. Anyway, early in our relationship my fiancé never really understood when I would describe to her different reactions I would receive around the small towns of Southeast Idaho because I am black. Sometimes I know the looks we get are just from curious people, but other looks are that of, “what are you doing here in our town” and looks of disgust. As a reader you may think like she did when we started dating… like, “well how do you know that’s what they are thinking”? I don’t know for sure, but without going into detail, sometimes comments have been made under people’s breath and it has been hard on our relationship. Now let us be fair, my fiancé has now also experienced this same sense of negativity when we visit where I grew up in a predominantly black area in LA.
I say all I did above, to show that my amazingly strong fiancé has taken it in stride and not ever looked back. She has never hesitated to take me to her small home town and introduce me as her boyfriend\fiancé. Her family and friends have been nothing but accepting of our relationship and together we have stood strong and overcome most internal and social adversity.
Again this adversity I have described in no way can compete with life changing illness, injury, or hardship. Instead, this just goes to show that normal everyday occurrences contain some type of adversity and I am fortunate enough to have some one I love in my life to conquer these adversities with and cannot wait to marry her this summer.
I'm not one to write about my personal life, but my fiancé brought this contest to my attention. I guess you can say I am already learning to say yes to things my future wife wants. I played football at ISU on scholarship and Holly attended ISU on academic scholarship. I was fortunate to get to know my fiancé in a statistics class my junior year of college. I remember seeing her and also couldn’t help to hear her, because she would always ask questions in class. There are two places in which I have the confidence to talk to a girl that I am attracted to. Those places are in math class and on the dance floor. My dad was big on math and coming from California males had to dance well to grab a girl’s attention. Unfortunately, my initial attempt to hang out with her was out done by a game of basketball. I offered to help her study for our big test and she said she had to work. That evening I ran into her playing basketball in Reed Gym. I just played it off like no big deal, but I was a little sad that she really didn’t have to work. Like any other male, the thrill of the chase made it more worthwhile. I continued to text her and we ended up going on our first date in the summer of 2006.
Long story short, we hit it off immediately and learned we tied our shoes the same way, listen to the same music, share a love for children and Michael Jordan, will have always have to have a large closet to hold our piles of shoes. She is just as stubborn as I am and had very similar up bringing. We dated for about 4 years before I was lucky enough for her to say yes to becoming my wife.
Well, the last four years were not the easiest. We had a few break ups, epic battles, and disagreements. (I told you we were stubborn) But, that adversity is in all relationships. So what makes our relationship special? I mean I received a free college education and she graduated in 6 years with her Masters, so what’s our adversity… right? Well I had a dream to continue my football career on the professional level. I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to do just that. I was worked out by NFL teams and received phone calls before and after the draft. The only problem is I didn’t get the phone call to actually be part of a team. I was fortunate enough to get signed to a developmental league a few months later, but that league folded a week before I was supposed to report to the team in Texas. A year later I got signed to the Arena Football League and that league folded right before I was supposed to report to camp.
Now help me out and think of a child hood dream you have had growing up, it being placed in your hands, and then being ripped out of your grip not once… but twice. Mentally it was very tough to deal with because although I got my college degree, I always saw myself as a professional athlete. I felt like I let so many people down, including my fiancé. When I didn’t get signed, it took a toll on me mentally and in turn took a toll on our relationship. There were days I didn’t want to talk to anyone, days I would just want to be around the guys, and days I just wanted to stay in bed a sulk. Throughout it all, she stayed by my side and encouraged me to continue to chase my dream and to chase all life had to offer. She never once made me feel like I was a failure. She was able to turn every situation into a positive light and help me realize how blessed and lucky I was to have a successful life aside from sports. For that I am ever so grateful, without her I don’t think I would have won my internal battle. She was my rock during those months of hardship, and I know it took a toll on her as well as it did on me. But… we won that internal battle.
The social adversity that we have faced together is a battle that I hope is slowly dissolving in the world. I am black and my fiancé is white. In the small town of Pocatello there are times when you can tell it makes some people uncomfortable that we were dating and are now engaged, because of our races. I need to write a quick disclaimer: I firmly believe that most people do not care one bit and I love this city and that’s one of the reasons I have stayed and work in the field that I do. Anyway, early in our relationship my fiancé never really understood when I would describe to her different reactions I would receive around the small towns of Southeast Idaho because I am black. Sometimes I know the looks we get are just from curious people, but other looks are that of, “what are you doing here in our town” and looks of disgust. As a reader you may think like she did when we started dating… like, “well how do you know that’s what they are thinking”? I don’t know for sure, but without going into detail, sometimes comments have been made under people’s breath and it has been hard on our relationship. Now let us be fair, my fiancé has now also experienced this same sense of negativity when we visit where I grew up in a predominantly black area in LA.
I say all I did above, to show that my amazingly strong fiancé has taken it in stride and not ever looked back. She has never hesitated to take me to her small home town and introduce me as her boyfriend\fiancé. Her family and friends have been nothing but accepting of our relationship and together we have stood strong and overcome most internal and social adversity.
Again this adversity I have described in no way can compete with life changing illness, injury, or hardship. Instead, this just goes to show that normal everyday occurrences contain some type of adversity and I am fortunate enough to have some one I love in my life to conquer these adversities with and cannot wait to marry her this summer.
 |
| Ashley MacKay Photography |
 |
| Jennifer Simmons Photography |
No comments:
Post a Comment