Wow! Lyric is already a month old and Akilah and I finally feel like we are starting to get the hang of things... well I guess we feel like we start to get the hang of things and then she goes and sleeps from 10 pm - 6 am and has us freaking out like we slept through her crying all night!!! We are lucky to have each other to bounce our ideas off of. This parenting business would be even more scary if I had to do it alone and be the only one making the "Lyric" decisions.... like do we take her on the golf course with us or not :)
On a more serious note, I wanted to write a little about my first three weeks as a mom (I'm going to encourage Akilah to write about his first three weeks being a dad too). I'm pretty sure my friends, who are already moms, talked to me about how hard it is and how my life will change when I have a baby. I'm also pretty sure I didn't listen too well. The first three weeks of "Lyric" were so unbelievably hard and emotional. More times than not I was asking myself or Akilah what we had gotten ourselves into. I was wondering if we made the right decision in having a baby at this time in our lives. Scared that I was too young or selfish to have a child. Man those first three weeks were so hard.
I was exhausted, emotional, and scared in the first three weeks of mom-hood (and truth be told I still am, but it is getting better). Exhausted because I was pushing myself too hard and trying to conquer the world while not sleeping while she slept, being a new mom, and a milking cow. Emotional because I felt all alone in the world at 3 am when I was up feeding her and having breasts that were so sore. Emotional to the point where I bawled more than once and had to call Akilah to come home from work in the middle of the night and help me with her. Scared because I wasn't sure I wanted to keep being a mom... it just seemed so hard and I felt like I wasn't ready and that someone else could do a better job with her. Scared because I didn't know if Akilah and I were making the right decisions for Lyric.. what is that bump on her toe? Why does she already have a snotty nose? Are the chunks of milk she is spitting up normal? Are we putting her diapers on too tight? Why does she grunt and scrunch up her face so much... is it because of what I'm eating? Is she happy with us? Am I breast feeding correctly... because man this hurts! Is she growing enough? How much should we let her sleep during the day? Is it ok if she sleeps on her side like a HUMAN? lol the list goes on and on...
The GOOD news is it is all getting easier. I decided to write about these feelings because I felt so ashamed for having the feelings/thoughts mentioned above! I felt like I was the only one going through this stage and it took me trusting some of my close friends and opening up with my feelings before I was able to start to normalize things! Now I am happy I went through them because I probably wouldn't be normal if I didn't!!! I look at Lyric now and am so grateful she is here and that we are getting into a flow. I'm so grateful for Akilah and his support and for rocking the dad role.. I'm super grateful I'm still breast feeding! For as hard as breast feeding is, it is getting better. She is eating quicker now and we are figuring out a little schedule. It is awesome to see her growing and know I'm helping her do this through breast feeding her! I'm also being stronger and not feeding her every time she makes an upset peep, so the whole milking cow feeling is starting to go away :)
Ok enough of all that... onto the part the relatives want!!! THE PICTURES :)
 |
| 1 month old! |
Grandma and Grandpa Clark with Lyric
(my dad is sleeping with her haha)
Daddy feeding her the first breastmilk bottle!
Golfing!
Jordan giving Lyric kisses
 |
| Ahhhh! Such a good helper! |
 |
| Maela is such a good big sister :) |
 |
| Skyping with her aunt and uncle Hoang! |
